CHORES

The advice...

For years it was brought gently to my attention that I have not been utilizing the cleaning potential of Ben and Thomas. "Get them to do chores!" is what friends and family said, but I was! They did have chores and I thought it was an appropriate amount. They had to clean their toys, pick up their dirty clothes, set and clear the table. There were others, too, like cleaning out the guinea pig cage. I have never been consistent about enforcing it. My priority was always on just getting them to bed as early as I could while still having time for bed time reading. It was just easier that way. I would make them get to it tomorrow, or so I said.

Bigger kids make bigger messes.

As they have gotten bigger, so have their "little messes." It is a good thing that they are able to fix their own cereal and juice and yogurts for breakfast before we get out of bed, but it's a drag to have to clean all that mess up first thing in the morning.

A change creeping in.

Gradually, simple household tasks were making me feel like a servant to the children rather than the result of a team effort. Then a switch got flipped and I got tired of it. A change was long overdue.

The old way of doing things

Before,
*I would let them watch TV to keep them out of my hair and entertained while I did the chores.
*I was very lax about "how" clean their rooms had to be.
*I wouldn't let them use the broom or vacuum because I was afraid they would play with it.
*I would go back and finish what they left undone or did incorrectly, thinking "at least they tried."
*the night time routine was growing more stressful! I wasn't in the mood to read to them because I had dishes to do as soon as they went to bed!
*Molly was cranky because she was tired but I couldn't focus on her because the boys weren't as independent as they should be.

NOT ANYMORE.

Now...
*If they don't do it right, they go back and do it until it is right.
*the standard for how clean their room has to be has been raised. NO toys left out. Period.
*Ben can sweep. Thomas can vacuum. If they play, they pay the price.
*They both can unload AND load the dishwasher. I rearranged the cabinets so that all the plastic non breakable stuff is kept down low. It's awesome. The only dishes I have to put away are the coffee mugs, sharp knives, and breakable dishes, which we don't use that often since they are now in charge of setting the table, and they set it with the plastic stuff that they can now reach on their own.
*They both use a mild multipurpose cleaner and paper towels and spray and wipe the entire bathroom, including the outside of the toilet.
*when a load of laundry comes out of the dryer, they help me sort it and fold their own clothes and put them away themselves.
*I taught Ben how to turn work the bath faucet and turn on his own shower and do it for Thomas too!

Still a work in progress

Last night I discovered that Ben had gotten a fresh bath towel every night to dry off instead of hanging up his towel and reusing it for the week like we usually do. I had a pile of at least 8 towels! I don't know how I missed this and let it go on that long. As a result, Ben is learning how to do laundry! I'm making him do each step to show him how much effort goes into keeping those towels clean!

The new philosophy

The new attitude is "if I'm doing housework, then it must not be done yet, so you need to help me until it all gets done."

A tip in the scales

The amount of effort that it takes to enforce this new policy is incredible. It has benn hard. The amount of mess they make now as 7 and 5 year old big boys as compared to when they were preschoolers, plus the additional work of another baby, plus the decrease of help from Josh while he is working a second job created a severe enough unbalance for me to want to put forth the effort. All of that work is far greater than the work it is taking for me to teach them how to clean up after themselves. And now the teaching curve is over and I have even less work than before.

Good nights!

The new night time routine is so enjoyable and less stressful. They do dishes while I bathe Molly. They clean their room and the living room while I snuggle her and rock her to sleep. I finish the kitchen while they take their baths and get ready for bed. They clean the bathroom while I inspect the previous chores and supervise the whole "getting ready for school the next day routine (backpacks, school clothes, etc) Then when it's all done we read and relax while Molly is already asleep.

Goodnight!

When they go to bed, I'm free to watch a little TV or read or finish up bills or other chores that they really can't help with. I'm free. AH.